jpg.jpg)
Hey Seed:
I have a friend that is currently unemployed yet insists that he is gainfully employed because he bartends at a local rink when not playing 'hockey'. How do I tell him to get off his lazy ass and get a job?
A Concerned Pal
Dear Concerned Pal:
You definitely pose an interesting question. Hmmm - How do you tell your “friend” to get of his lazy ass and get a job? First off ask yourself this - Can an ass be lazy? The last time I checked isn’t the ass just a small or in some instances a big part of a much bigger package. When you look at the geography that the ass actually occupies it is somewhere near the bodies equator, with the nerve center being a long way a way - way up north in fact. It is a fact - whether I made it up or not that the farther north you live, the more intelligence you must have to ensure survival. Very few people stub their heads. So when one thinks about it a lot of other parts of the body would likely have to be lazy long before the ass itself could become lazy. Also being near the equator, I don’t know if you have ever been to the Southern States, Caribbean, Central America or Mexico. If you have you will notice that the general pace of things is much slower as you must conserve energy due to the heat.
In this instance just consider the Asses neighbor to the west or east depending on the way you are standing. That is right, the second and what some theorists consider the more powerful of brains THE DICK. Much like some of the governments of the countries near the equator, THE DICK sometimes acts much like a Dictator. Pleasure profits and fast living are his sole goal and no cost is too great. This dictator will basically probe all avenues of pleasure even if the tolls are great for the other parts of a persons geographical make up. So I ask of you to cut the ass a little bit of slack. It really is fighting for survival.
----------
----------
This picture has nothing to do with the question or answer.
---
I just love it. It is that simple. Enjoy!
-----
Of course all original Seed Images are for sale.
----------
As for your question; Why is it your responsibility to come down on your friend and tell him to get to work? Before you could even approach this issue you would have to find out why he is unemployed to begin with. Things such as age play a very critical role in his employment picture. When someone is in their late teens and early 20s any job will do. You have your whole life to decide where you are going with life and unless you decide to go to University and pursue a specific career path, which I might add guarantees nothing, most people try a few things in an effort to eliminate the things that don’t fit their personality or skills set. Or things which they simply just hate. I am sure you could list a few things that would make you think about slitting your wrists. Having said that I am going to assume your friend is not in his early 20s he is more likely in his early 30s to mid 30s.
Now if that estimate is correct, a whole different set of criteria is involved. I am going to also assume that he hasn’t been unemployed for his whole life or he would not likely be your friend. Unless you two share a crack pipe and this is a common occurrence kicking each others ass so one of you could afford to pick up the next hits. Since you emailed me, I am going to guess that is not the case. Before you can help him you need to look at what caused his unemployment. Did he own his own business and suddenly found himself out of it for some reason? Has he all of a sudden found that his options are shrinking because of his age and the Foot Locker career path is no longer a good option for having a roof over his head when he gets a bit older?
When you are older getting a job is not that easy. Good friends don’t tell each other to get jobs. Instead they try to encourage each other to look for and find the things in life that make them the most happy. Would you want a miserable friend living a marginal life - as a friend? UNEMPLOYMENT REMEMBER CAN BE VERY TRAUMATIC. Assuming that you are not paying his bills, it is really not your responsibility to tell him what to do. Unless of course, he is spending his time bitching to you about how shitty life is and bringing you down. Remember what you did when your parents “told” you what to do. Your friend will likely do the same thing, with added resentment, until you are no longer friends. I remember once when I was fired from a job for not sleeping with the boss, one of my friends would circle jobs in the paper for me. Guess what he is no longer a friend.
Wow I bet you never expected an answer this long. If your friend is truly a friend remember he may be having some esteem issues as the next decision is important to him and he likely needs encouragement more than to be bitched at. Who knows since he plays hockey if the NHL labor dispute continues long enough, maybe next year he can be hired as a Scab Player.
In conclusion. I don’t think you can tell him to get off his lazy ass and get a job. Think about it if his ass reached the status of lazy, it may be a cushy ass, which in turn will make it harder for him to get off of it. Like a wise man once said.
“Don’t judge a man until you have sat for an hour on his ass.”
At least that is how I remember the quote.
I encourage you to pick yourself up a copy of:
Seed’s Sketchy Relationship Theories
A Guide to the Perils of Dating
(How Not To Become A Bar Regular)
-----
Not only will it provide you with valuable relationship advice, but it may also unlock some secrets to living life to the fullest and having a blast along the way. At least it will make you fall out of your seat with laughter from time to time.
Available at http://www.seedenterprises.com/ or order at your favorite bookstore by quoting ISBN1420800302.
Remember You Asked.…
-
-the seed
No comments:
Post a Comment