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Saturday, May 13, 2006

Question 24 Where do I find your &#&#! book?

Seed

Where do I find your fuckin book? I've looked everywhere and my feet are sore. Resentment is growing in me at an astounding pace while questions swirl around in my tiny mind - is it Seed's fault, is he holding back the book - or is it that halfwit of a publisher who is busy with the season's latest drivel to drive the suburban meat into a pre-holiday shopping frenzy?

Answer me dammit!

Andy a frustrated reader

Dear Frustrated Reader,

My dear lost soul. You are in the Excited States (USA) right?

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All you have to do to pick up a copy of the book is go to our website http://www.seedenterprises.com/ and click on one of the many links and order it on line.

We prefer you go to AuthorHouse because we make a bit higher percentage from them, however, it may cost you a bit more. If you don’t want to go to AuthorHouse you may go to the Barnes & Noble link and order it through them or go into one of their stores and have them order it for you. I don’t think it will be on store shelves for a few more months. These are the best options for the time being.

I don’t want you to “over resent” that would be bad. However, a sufficient amount of resentment is good as it will provide you with the right level of angst to increase the reading enjoyment. As for the half-wit publisher, when you combine their wit with my wit that = 1 - wit and that is a lot of damn wit. That is all for now, just go out and buy the book.

We appreciate your support.

Remember You Asked.…

the seed

BONUS MATERIAL

Question 6 Get off your lazy ass…. A rebuttal to some follow-up dialogue. In a sense a rebuttal to the rebuttals follow-up. I’m confused…

The seed question and answer factory always tries to break new ground. We try new things. We take risks. We put ourselves out there. Most important, we communicate.

The above question was misplaced in the Question Hopper, therefore, it took us a while to answer and post it. Hence, “pre-holiday frenzy“. In an effort to live up to our guarantee of answering every question we were not deterred and still took the time to reply.

There is no big holiday on the horizon. Wait, I stand corrected, seed’s birthday is in July. That must be what Dear Frustrated Reader was referring to.

The “breaking of new ground” we’re referring to, we’ve decided to share some bonus dialogue we shared with the inquisitor Concerned Pal who was so gracious to ask Question 6 Get off your lazy ass…

And, if that wasn’t enough, we have the lazy assed ones rebuttal to the scathing words of his Concerned Pal. To refresh your memory simply visit the link below.

Enjoy the dialogue. And be sure to fire your queries to askseed@hotmail.com

If your hitting the stores for the big July holiday, seed would like….

Hello Seed,

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My replies to your queries are in-lined below.

Respectfully

Concerned Pal

Hello A Concerned Pal

Did you view my answer to your question on our website?

Yes, I’ve viewed your answer to my question on your website.

Perhaps a better question would be did your answer help me any?
  1. Was it of any value?
  2. Did I gain anything from the entire experience?
Happily I can answer in the affirmative.

My friend has moved on to bigger and better things (after he was beaten soundly about the head with a lead pipe at his ‘hockey’ game). He has now become a ‘land baron’ and is reaping riches tenfold.

OK, OK, so maybe all he is doing is sitting by the pool reading this email – at least he’s got style!!!

He should have tried out for the Olympic hockey team with that bum knee of his since the putzes they sent couldn’t get their collective fecal matter together.

I think you need a monthly discourse added to your column where you publish an interaction with someone not peering through the same beer colored glasses buddy boy!

Also, we're having a contest where one lucky winner will win a signed copy of Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories. For details visit our website at www.seedenterprises.com .

If I visit will I also win an all expenses trip to a vacation trailer park in Arizona? I’ve got your book dude, I need a vacation!

All we ask of you is that you tell all of your friends.

Let just use that term loosely shall we.

Ok we ask one other thing - explore the site a bit - there is tons of original photography and art on the site.

Nice updated site – keep up the good work!!

We do kindly ask you to tell all of your friends as we do want to keep offering up heaping servings of fresh comedy, controversy and perspective. To do so your help spreading the word is greatly appreciated.

Yes – With the help of a secret source I regale all my friends with stories of two shmoes that used to live by the Plaza 500 on the west side of Vancouver – trust me, word is getting around about you two!!!

A Concerned Pal

Cheers

seed

Don’t worry if some of the dialogue didn’t make sense. We struggled to attach meaning to it ourselves. The main thing is Concerned Pal is friggen funny and we appreciate his efforts to purchase and help us promote.
.
Did you notice. We listened more than we talked.

As corny as this sounds. We actually want to make a wee bit of a difference.

Remember, say no to Global Warming.

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