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As much as Ask Seed is a place for us to practice our comedic chops, we do really care about people, the world and life in general. In that spirit, we try to avoid mincing words and once we get through our need to spill random thoughts, we sincerely try to give the best suggestions to your problems by sharing some of our experiences. We truly hope that our words help in some way. Even if that is the odd chuckle.
Every now and then we receive a message thanking us for our efforts. The thank you messages mean the world to us. The following is a message we received from our answer to Question 23 Selfish Narcissistic Bastard ‘Mon’. To read the original tidbits of advice just follow the link below.
We’ll even whisk you away to the tropics for a few moments in the sunshine.
Thank you Seed!!!
You are so right about the title, "Selfish narcissistic bastard" perfect description of my soon to be former husband and me.
"Rebuilding self-esteem". Excellent, and again, right on.
Thank you for understanding. Your very insightful, no wonder you write and take photos.
Guess what he did to me just last month?
Robbed my house, yes, broken in, smashed the back window, stole everything I loved. Now I am so out of here, taking my dog with cat before they end up dead, and moving far, far away from here, perhaps changing my name.
You can now add sociopath to narcissistic bastard.
If you pray, pray for me, that God keeps me safe until I am move.
Beautiful pictures of tulips, those are my favorite flowers. Perhaps I am a bulb, a tulip bulb....soon to be blossoming in the sun.
I am planning on moving to So Cal, perhaps Laguna Beach, somewhere warm near the water.
Thanks again.
Rebuilding Esteem
You’re Welcome!
Online love can be heaven or hell
by the seed
To continue on with the feel good theme, as you may or may not know Seed is a regular contributor to a Daily Commuter paper: 24 Hours Vancouver (readership 169,000). His articles have ranged from Dating to Chronic Drug Abuse to Speed Racing all the way back to Dating.
Let’s just say that he has a lot to say and somehow manages to hold it together for long enough stints to share his somewhat lucid thoughts to help ease the pain of the daily commute.
His most recent article: Online love can be heaven or hell, appeared in the June 1st edition. To read the article just follow the link below.
You like?
It’s good to have you back. Seed is only allowed 450 words and if you’ve been a regular reader of Ask Seed, I’m sure you understand how difficult the word restriction is on him. He has trouble saying hello in 450 words.
Hello, Bonjour, Olla, Ketchup, Poutine, Yummy…
Since this post is all about “giving the crew at seed enterprises a little sugar,” we’re happy to say we received some. The following is a reader comment that was published in the paper the day after the article. We like. Kind words make us happy.
I LAUGHED SO HARD while reading Lindsay Wincherauk’s column on the train today (24 hours, June 1). It is so right on the mark! Having experienced both the heaven and the hell of internet dating. I know exactly what Lindsay’s talking about. Thanks Lindsay!
-Kerstin Katzmann, via email.
If you’re wondering who this Lindsay guy may be - rumor has it - he may be the seed. It is however just a rumor.
Thanks Kerstin.
Now for a touch of Seed Levity
The following is an artists rendition (projection) on what Seed’s personal ad may look like if he was in the market for love.
Moniker
The Love Curator
The artist, Louis, believes this is likely the most recent picture seed would have in his collection. Louis also believes the photo is a strong indication of how the seed likely dresses today. Pretty damn snazzy.
Orientation
In the woods I like to use a compass. In the city I pretty much know my way around. When you give it some thought it’s not that tough, you’ve got A and B. If you want to get from A to B you walk in a straight line. Buildings may get in your way. If that happens, you have a couple of choices. If it’s a business, like a Shopping Mall, you can enter and continue walking in that straight line. If it is somebody’s home - I walk around it. And, if it is water, I usually use a bridge.
See, it’s not that difficult.
Profession
Fly girl, no that’s not it. Fly guy, no again. Aspiring author, entrepreneur, comic, photographer, krumper and curator.
Height/Weight
I’m a lot taller when I’m standing. I’m also taller when I’m surrounded by midgets, which is very rare. I seem to be a little taller than most people. How do I know? I cut my the top of my head shaving my head and nobody has commented on the cuts. As for weight. I’ll weight as long as it takes to find someone who I really like and want to kiss. That is: if they meet my Height/Weight and non-troll like requirements.
Dreams
Usually when I’m sleeping. Sometimes when I’m drinking - I’m not sure if those qualify as dreams. I sometimes dream when I’ve been out in the hot sun for 12 hours without water.
As for corny dreams: I actually want to make people smile and perhaps even make bit of a difference. Don’t you?
Looking for
I don’t mind nudity. Consensual of course. I’m not really a big fan of mass nudity though - that sort of creeps me out. I think people should save their naughty bits for the appropriate moments and not be so free with them. Everybody may be beautiful in some way, often though its not on the outside and if that’s the case keep it inside and show only those who love you. They’ll look once they’ve discovered your inner beauty. Before then you may blow the deal.
I’m honestly not looking. If I was, hmm, let me see, you’d have to be alive, that’s important. I’d like you to be pretty, to me. Which really has a wide range. I’d like you to be fit. I’d like you to be passionate about life. Most important, I’d like a connection that leads us to a land where our quiet moments are just as precious as all others and we reach a point where we know we’re better off together.
If I was looking: I wouldn’t be looking for someone who wants me to save them. You can save me if you’d like. Especially if I was drowning or in some other precarious situation. If you can’t swim - I suggest getting someone to help you. Actually, to help me. I’m the one in trouble.
I guess in summation. I’d want someone who points at me, laughs and then we just make things better together.
Followed by: nudity.
Important Seed Announcement
The preceding was a Mock Up of what renowned international artist Louis felt a seed personal ad may look like. In no way is any of the ad based upon reality, or, real stuff period for that matter. Seed would like to assure you that other than the odd naked stint, he can neither confirm or deny any of the subject matter that Louis subjected you to.
Seed also would like to stress that no testing was done on humans and that due to his bold rendition and the liberties he has taken with Seed's heart - Louis has been SACKED.
end isa
Now for a dash of serious
Seed (Lindsay) really is an aspiring author. His first book: Seed’s Sketchy Relationship Theories A Guide to the Perils of Dating (How not to become a bar regular) has garnered media attention and has received some outstanding reviews. For more information on the book visit: http://www.seedenterprieses.com/ .
Seed and Seed Enterprises would now like to move the "aspiring" up to the next level. Currently we have a second and third book virtually completed - these two books are being prepared for future publication. Having said that, Seed is now completing a fourth book that he feels has incredible potential to have an amazing print run. He also feels that it would translate well to the Big Screen or the Boob Tube for that matter. Let’s just say the upside is unlimited.
As for the book - it is a true story - it is hilarious - it will evoke every emotion imaginable - it will blow the readers away - it truly is a story of perseverance.
In that spirit, we’d entertain discussing its potential with agents/publishers/media and you. If you are a member any of these groups we’d love to hear from you.
Send us a shout out to: theseedvan@hotmail.com
Why would you take the step to explore?
Because Seed is passionate about what he is doing and he feels he has an important message to share. He also has a snippet of talent.
Once again: Thank you for all of your kind words. We do truly appreciate them.
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