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Hello Ask Seed Fans
Before we venture into the next question I feel it really needs a bit of an introduction. We encourage all sorts of questions to be fired our way and we will always try to answer them with brutal honesty and sincerity. However, a large portion of the answer is going to contain an off-beat, hopefully somewhat hilarious and entertaining rant. Having said that, we will never diminish another human beings existence on this planet. After our rants, we will always try to offer up some fresh perspective from the minds of the Seed Collective. We in no way claim any psychological competence. We use our life experiences to come up with the most entertaining heart-felt responses that we can.
The following question is actually not really a question. We are not sure what it is meant to be. We had posted some information about our book in a chat room and somehow this individual took over the chat string. In the previous Question from him (Devo 3) we took the question very seriously and decided that it required a serious answer. So that is what we did. After that answer he got back to us with the question below. Like said above, we will not diminish anyone’s life experience. All we can do is answer as honestly as we can. If you find yourself in the same situation as Devo 3, we recommend that you seek professional help. The reason we have included the questions from Devo 3 is to illustrate that life sometimes can throw us curve balls. As much as we would like it to all be light, unfortunately that is not always possible. Without any more hesitation here is the Devo 3’s second question (comment) and the way I addressed it.
Dear Seed.
I just saw this article (!) I was right all along!
Unrequited love can be a 'killer'
Lovesickness can kill and should be taken more seriously as a legitimate diagnosis, according to health experts.
(taken from BBC News UK Edition, February 6th 2005)
The article summarizes what I've been going on about and through - that the situation of depression caused by the loss of love, isn't taken seriously by most medical practitioners. And that it isn't just some kind of 'self pity' or artificial construct in the mind. It's almost like a disease - a cancer of the metaphorical heart. I for one, even with my 'spiritual' knowledge and beliefs, am finding it hellishly hard to survive. I can't imagine what those people who don't have much (or any) spiritual understandings must go through. I never mentioned this before, but I did know someone who committed suicide because of ruined love. There wasn't any support for him. We in this world don't really take ruined love seriously. We expect everyone to 'get on with it' and 'get over it', and for a lot of people there are no shoulders to cry on, or consorts to confide in. Most people don't know where to turn to, if they are affected badly. Anti-depressants are dished out left, right and center. My best friend was on anti-depressants a few years ago, and he's not been completely right since. I feel 'hope' is what is lacking most in people's situations. Hopelessness should be treated as an illness. I still suffer from it, and even though I've tried to get help, it wasn't any use. I don't know any 'magic cure' or formula, or 'medicine' that can alleviate this condition, but all I do know is that hopelessness kills, but hope saves...
Finally Validated
Devo 3
Dear Devo 3:
I hope you are still getting help. In my opinion you are focusing on the wrong stuff. Why are you wasting your time trying to prove that you deserve to be blue.
Smoking also kills. Not everyone. Well, eventually everyone. I am not sure why you are trying to win an argument that no one else is participating in.
This is going to be my last comment on this topic. I recommend you seek professional help. Not chat room diagnosis.
The only reason I am writing it is because I give a rats ass about people. I am convinced now that you really don't want any help. You have found what defines you and that is holding onto some illusion that you are heartbroken and need to cry on a shoulder. What answer could you possibly be looking for? That you are a good person. That you didn't deserve to be treated the way you were. I have read the posts from others and you have been told over and over again that you are good person and do deserve better. You can't keep asking the same question from different angles.
Depression sucks! I remember once trying to take my own life, because I thought I had lost the love of my life. I forgot who I was. Fortunately I snapped out of it. It would have been a waste of a fantastic life. Unfortunately we all likely know people who have committed suicide. That is a harsh reality of the times we live in. It is unfortunate. I remember when I was so painfully depressed I definitely could not take the time to write message after message in a chat room. I was too depressed to do that. I don't get what you are trying to accomplish. My advice is get out of this room, it is doing you absolutely no good. I said it before and will say it over and over again. The only way you will ever get better is to get out of here. When people ask you how you are doing. Lie. Say, "Great", no matter how you feel. You will be amazed at how much that helps. Other than that find one or two people who will listen to you. Just listen - nothing more. Until the day you get bored of telling the same story over and over again. The fact is, "your love", wasn't your love. She doesn't want you. Period. And if you ever have a hope of it returning, you have to go fix yourself. Announcing to the world you are screwed up in a chat room is not a very good way to go about it.
Like I said find 1 or 2 people, even a professional and just talk to them.
We are not equipped to give you the help you need. You really need to stay away from these chat rooms until you are better.
I feel for you, I really do, but it is enough already. Here is a excerpt from my book. Maybe this explains something for you.
[....]If you feel that you are not sure if you can get through this alone, then get some counseling. Sometimes we can’t work past all of the challenges of life on our own and the people close to us are not equipped or trained to give good advice. They have a host of their own challenges. For the sake of example, I don’t know one friend who could have possibly been able to deal with all of the events that took place in my life in the last year. They can listen, but to ask them for the answers is simply not fair.[....]
-excerpt from Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating.
As for those events they are as follows:
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So Devo you can see that life from time to time sucks. You are doing yourself no good wasting your time in a chat room. Maybe if you had found someone here to confide in that would be one thing. But is appears you haven't.
It is easy to keep asking the same question from different angles, hoping for a different response.
Look I would be very willing to listen to you and hear how heartbroken you are. Extend an Olive Branch, if you will. But not in here. That is one of the reasons you need to get your help from somewhere else. Typing answers which may be interpreted in a million different ways is not the answer.
And I will be frank here, I had not heard anything for a week or so on this post. That was fine. Then I receive a "See I told you all so" post. Grow up.
To all of my loyal Ask Seed followers, I promise never to let things get this heavy again. I think my head will explode if I do. I also promise to crank out some entertaining rants when I answer the next few questions. As for Devo 3, he really needs to see a professional. That is all I can say.
In another week I graduate from clown college, so stay tuned for some fresh and entertaining blasts from the mind of Seed.
Remember You Asked.…
-the seed
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