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August 15th/2005
It was a warm August evening in beautiful Vancouver. I was only 10 minutes into my daily mind-clearing walk when a stranger approached.
"Hey where are you heading?"
"I'm just out for a relaxing, mind-clearing walk," I offered in return to this inquisitive individual.
Scccrrreeeeeccccccchhhhhh....
Hold it, hold it, hold it. The above is an aberration. I do not write that way or talk that way. I don't know what came over me that caused me to do so, I will refrain from being so fucking lame in the future. Bear with me.......
In the spirit of Dance Hall Reggae - reeeewiiiiiinnnnnnnnd.
I was walking. It was nice out. Pretty damn warm. The walks help me to relax. Some guy I didn't know came up to me and asked where I was going? I was apprehensive. What the fuck does this guy want from me?
He asked if he could walk with me...…?
Scccreeeecccchhhhhh.
That’s not it either. I've matured and the above is also no longer me. I have more pizzazz than that.
Reeewwwiinnnnnd - pause - fast forward - screw it. I'll just continue where I left off.
Get this, he recognized my picture from a column of mine that had been recently in a local paper.
Was this the start of Seed's climb into celebrity status? How wicked would that be? No more line-ups. Right to the front of the burger joints. I was honored to be recognized, however, I was thinking, could the paparazzi be far behind?
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"Hey what the fuck are you following me for?"
For those readers who after reading the last few lines started to think that Seed is developing an over-inflated sense of self. He's not. He (I) truly believes that the paparazzi couldn't care less about him, nor, will they ever be interested in his amazingly unassuming lifestyle. I don't foresee the snorting of anything off anyone’s bosoms in the near future. And to be blunt, why can't you allow me to bask in my brief moments of notoriety and of feeling pretty?
Have I ever discounted your accomplishments?
Well - have I?
Ok then, shame on you. Go to your room and think about what you've done.
The point is, I was touched to be recognized, not literally touched, but touched nonetheless. Sometimes I like to be touched. Would you like to touch..........?
Sorry about that I drifted off to a happy, touchy feely place for a second. A somewhat naughty happy place filled with over-stuffed pillows, grapes and seductive.......
Where was I?
"Live Seed", you say. Thanks.
Instead of continuing on with the dialogue and witty banter being exchanged between me and my new friend (Jay), I'll just get to the gist or the crux of our conversation and turn Jay's dialogue into another installment of Ask Seed - Live & Unplugged.
I won’t stop there, you'd think that would be enough, I'm even going to offer you my thoughtful reply. Pretty damn snazzy, hey?
Dear Live Seed
Seed it is a pleasure to meet you, I've caught your last 2 columns in 24 Hours Vancouver and I must say I found them to be entertaining and informative.
Seed, I'd like to ask you about a problem I'm having with my girl. You see we've been dating for a year, I'm 36 and she is 22. Though leery of her young age I fell deeply in love with her.
The only problem is our age difference, however, I love her so much that I told her if she found someone more her age I'd understand if she left me.
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Recently we broke up for a week, during which she slept with someone else. That really pissed me off, I feel like she disrespected me. How could she love me one moment and the next be sleeping with someone else?
I never cheated on her during that week.
The following week we got back together again and it seemed like we were really in love. Unfortunately Seed, it all fell apart a few weeks later and we broke up a second time.
I am struggling with this and I'm very heartbroken. Then came the bombshell, she said that she was into women. I'd be ok with that if we stayed together. Apparently she had been with women before. Just sort of a messing around and experimenting.
This time though, she actually started dating another girl.
How the fuck could she do this? How disrespectful. How could she shame me in my community?
I told her if this disrespect ever was in front of me and that if they kissed each other in front of me or any of my friends I'd kick both of their asses. She got scared and called the police.
Seed, I love her and would never do anything to hurt her. I was just upset.
I really love her and want her in my life. I want to be good friends with her. I just can't take the disrespect. Especially with women. It makes me look bad.
What can I do to keep her in my life?
Can I buy you a soda?
Missing Muffy.
Dear Missing Muffy
“Is this on?”
Tap - tap - tap......
“Test 1, 2, 3.....“
“Seed, you're an idiot, you are walking down the street. There are no lights, no cameras, no......…”
M2 , sorry about that I got carried away to another land, a land where all of my cares drifted away and everything had become blissful. A peaceful, easy feeling had shrouded me in comfort never before seen in these parts. A land where opportunity had met fortune and all life had learned to co-exist in a harmonious manner. Orgasms had become multiple. Penile enlargement reality - no longer the solicitations of spammers.
Or, what the hell am I talking about? If you figure it out please let me know.
Now that I’m returning to fine fettle: lets continue. M2 you’re guilty of following your groin and not your brain (36 vs. 22). How the hell did you expect it to work? Would it work if it was 22 vs. 8? Of course not and you are a bit of a silly nit if you think your relationship had a chance of lasting.
You state right from the get-go: “Though leery of her young age. I fell deeply in love with her.”
You’re not a fool, I know from our chat, but quit telling big juicy fibs. From your statement you knew that this relationship was nothing more than a sexual fling with a hot young damsel. Being “leery” illustrates the certainty of future demise.
The thing is relationships with such great age differences may have a chance, however, the likelihood is slim. Not only are men and women wired differently. Men and women from different decades are a trillion years and issues away when it comes to life. What could you possibly talk about?
She likely has little life experience and you need to understand that. As for you, 36, you must have experienced a few things by now, such as: death in your family (or amongst friends and acquaintances), loss of job, premature ejaculation, food poisoning, adorable little kitties and pony rides. Let her live her life - let her experience some things. It is not your responsibility to chaperone her.
So, quit kidding yourself. You say you love her so much if she found someone closer to her age you’d let her go.
How fucking noble and pathetic. Wait - subtract the noble, daddy.
Time out. I think it is time for a bit of random seed art & photography.
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Don’t you?
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Do you have so little self-respect that you’re willing to fall deeply in love and let your love go when she finds someone more suitable (her age)?
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It sounds as if you’re a little bit clueless and don’t understand how love really works. I’m not going to get into it here, I would however like to suggest that you give some real thought to your statements.
I’m pretty sure that most wedding vows don’t contain: “Till death do us part or until you find someone more compatible.”
Hell, you weren’t in a real love relationship. It more resembles a daycare, or an attempt to hold onto your youth.
M2, freedom finally came for both of you. A semblance of sense arrived in the form of breaking up. However, you demonstrate that the relationship wasn’t really about love - it was more so about control. You controlling her.
You broke up - she slept with someone - you never cheated during the break-up. Are you listening to yourself?
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You were given the pink slip. She wanted her freedom. I can’t scream this out loud enough, however, amazingly people just don’t want to hear this:
ONCE THE RELATIONSHIP PINK SLIP IS ISSUED YOU DON’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE. EVERY SHITTY THING THAT TOOK PLACE DURING THE RELATIONSHIP ARE SIMPLY SHITTY THINGS THAT TOOK PLACE DURING THE RELATIONSHIP. SHE CAN SLEEP WITH WHOMEVER SHE WANTS. IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. YOUR ONLY HOPE FOR GROWTH IS IF YOU GET HER OUT OF YOUR MIND. NO CONTACT. NO PINING. NO………. IT WILL NOT DO YOU ANY GOOD. THERE WILL BE NO HAPPY ENDING.
Of course you won’t listen. Few do. Instead, sharing our beds with misery, gloom and desperation seem to be on the menu for most of the broken hearted. My suggestion: waste your time pining and trying to remain friends. Personally I love it when my past loves tell me who they are screwing. It makes me feel really, really, really, really, really, really good. In fact I like to hear of a cavalcade of new more proficient lovers warming the sheets where I once used to lay.
By the way, you were broken up. Cheating while single is really just sex - cheating = sex.
Your quick resolution may indicate, as I said above, that you have some redeeming qualities. She without question has feelings for you and genuinely doesn’t want to see you in pain and suffering. Yet, she quickly realized that you’re not the one for her. I am.
Ok, no I’m not. I don’t even know her, but, 22 and hot, I’m sure I could be for a while. Don't worry, I don’t have a clue who she is.
Your bombshell: she likes women. You lucky dog. You know what that means?
It means your esteem can remain intact. Her breaking up with you has nothing to do with you. Her experimentation led her to the conclusion that she’s gay. Not bi. Not bi-curious. Just simply gay. My friend, you didn’t have a chance. You should be happy for her and that should make it easier for you to let her go. You do know you have to let her go? You don’t own her.
Another beautiful thing about her revelation is that if you do truly want to be her friend you may have a chance - that is if you give yourself enough time away from her. After exiting the situation for a long enough period of time, you have a tremendous opportunity to show that you care by letting her know you understand how difficult her situation is and that you truly understand that the split was nothing personal. It just happens to be the way she is wired.
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Now for some real serious shit. You fucked up. Pretty royally. You showed her zero respect by threatening her with violence. Even if you know, she knows and the whole damn world knows you would never do anything. You crossed a line. You painted yourself as the bad guy and now you run the risk of tarnishing everything good in your past relationship. If you continue to impose your will upon her, you are going to screw up everything in your life. Is that your goal?
If it is you’re a dangerous idiot with no future. You are 36 - now show some maturity and act that way. If you don’t, you may get to be someone’s bitch in a prison cell. Do you want to be Fat Tony’s bitch?
Threats of violence are unacceptable and show me that you really don’t respect her or even yourself at times. It sucks that you lost someone you loved. I truly know how that feels. It sucks even more when there is a big age difference as it can highlight how fleeting our youth is. I want to hold onto mine as long as I can. But, you must learn to like yourself and accept who you become.
“If they only knew how much I love them.”
Does that sound familiar?
In conclusion:
- Older guys usually have problems letting young beauties go. I think it may be due either to desperation or control issues.
- Get away. Far, far away. No contact of any sort.
- Practice choking the chicken, spanking the monkey and stroking the bolt upright.
- Screw your head on and do some soul searching.
- If you can get your head around the fact that your ex likes the loins of the fairer sex - you may one day be able to stand being in the same room together. That is only if you accept who she is.
- You say you love her. If you do, let her have her own experiences and live her own life.
- Understand that she doesn’t make you look bad - you make you look bad.
One last thing: absolutely nothing. That is what you can do to keep her in your life. It's not up to you.
You likely don’t want to hear this: the chances of you remaining friends are miniscule at best. Cherish what you had. If some day you magically become friends - bonus.
And finally, yes, I’ll have a Ting.
Remember You Asked.…
-the seed
As always don’t forget to explore www.seedenterprises.com
You will be able to find details on our first exciting contest.
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